Life's Big Surprises
by TwiTFotVcontest
Summary: Bella always knew exactly what she wanted, but an unexpected discovery throws her entire life off track. She thought she had nothing to lose by spending the night with a beautiful stranger – she just didn't realize how much she had to gain. Entry for The Fruit's on the Vine Twific Contest


**The Fruit's on the Vine TwiFic Contest**

**Title: **Life's Big Surprises

**Pairing: **Bella & Edward

**Genre:** Romance/Family

**Summary:** Bella always knew exactly what she wanted, but an unexpected discovery throws her entire life off track. She thought she had nothing to lose by spending the night with a beautiful stranger – she just didn't realize how much she had to gain.

**Disclaimer: **The author does not own any publicly recognizable entities herein. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**Life's Big Surprises**

I had always known what I wanted to do with my life.

When I was in third grade, the teacher sat us down to do an art project. We were told to draw what we wanted to be when we grew up. Most of the kids around me took a while to get started, chattering excitedly about this and that, each trying to come up with the most outrageous ideas to out-do their friends.

I didn't hesitate for a single second. I grabbed the closest sheet of paper, pulled out my trusted colored pencils – because crayons were for babies, as my mom had insisted when we went back-to-school shopping that year – and got right to work. I didn't even look up when Mike and Tyler started crying and hitting each other because they both wanted to draw the same thing. Of course, it made perfect sense that there could only be one football player in the entire universe. (I wonder who he would play with?)

I was oblivious to the world around me as I painstakingly sketched out every little detail of the image in my mind. I worked the entire half hour in complete silence, and it was only after physical prodding from the teacher when she came around to collect our drawings that I noticed the room was already empty. I reluctantly got up to go outside to the playground for lunch. However, when Mrs. Cope picked up my picture, she stopped me on my way out the door, her eyebrows furrowed as she looked down at the paper in her hands.

"Is this your family, Bella?" she asked.

"Yes," I told her proudly.

"It's a beautiful picture," she said. However, she still looked confused. "But, dear, didn't you understand the project? You were supposed to draw what you're going to be when you're an adult."

"I did, Mrs. Cope," I explained patiently. Grown-ups could be so silly. I motioned for her to bend down to my height. "See," I pointed to the female stick figure on the far right. "That's me."

"Oh… So, you're the mommy in this picture?"

"Of course." Wasn't it obvious?

I looked over my drawing once more. There was the two-story house, white with a red door and matching red shutters. A large green lawn with colorful flowers and a fence around the backyard to keep the dog in. And the five of us standing in front, holding hands, large grins drawn in on each of our faces.

It was perfect.

"I see." Mrs. Cope smiled back at me, although I thought it looked a little different from her normal smile. "Go on and play now, Bella."

"Okay."

Later that night, my mom got a phone call. She took it in the other room, but I could clearly hear the huffs of displeasure. After it was over, she marched in front of me and grabbed the book I was reading, snapping it shut and placing her hands on her hips.

"Hey!" I protested.

"Isabella," my mother frowned, "I heard you drew something in class today?"

"Yes?" I wasn't sure what the problem was, but I didn't really want to talk about this with my mom. After all, much of the inspiration for my future-dream came from her, and not in a good way. Also, I hated when she called me Isabella.

"Sweetheart," Renée sighed dramatically and sat down on the couch, putting on the "Mom" face that came out only once in a blue moon. "The teacher asked you to draw what job you want to do when you grow up. Not just to draw some family picture. You need to follow the instructions, okay?"

"But Mom, that is what I want-"

"And, honey," she interrupted, "Why on earth would you draw three kids? Seriously, one is more than enough. Really, you shouldn't be thinking about things like that. You need to focus on what _you_ want to do, not get carried away with some fantasy that'll just turn out to be a disappointment. You don't want to end up tied down like your father and I were, so young, do you?"

There was so much I wanted to say back to her at that moment, but I held my tongue. It wouldn't do any good.

"Okay, well, now that that's taken care of." She jumped up and handed back my book. "I've got a date tonight; I'm going to be late if I don't leave soon. Don't stay up too late." She was out the door before I could blink. "Oh, that's right," her head popped back in. "Wash the dishes for me, would you, sweetie?" And she was gone again.

I stared at the closed, unlocked door for a few minutes, hoping it would say something reassuring or comforting, but obviously that wasn't going to happen. Now I had two choices: spend the rest of the night crying into my pillow, or clean the house.

I sighed and went to go grab the rubber gloves. Someone had to take care of our house, and it certainly wasn't going to be Renée. I started with the dishes, then scrubbed the floors and counters. I took out the trash and paid the bills. By ten o'clock, everything was done and I hopped into bed. I yawned and snuggled under the covers.

Someday, I'd find a wonderful man to share my home and my life with. We would split the chores and responsibility. And together we would raise the happiest, most well-loved children. I would help them with homework, go to all their school and sports and music and dance events, tuck them in at night, listen and hug them when they were upset. I would offer advice when they needed it and try not to scare away their dates when they got older. I would keep smiles on their faces whenever possible. I would love them with all of my heart.

I couldn't wait to be a mom.

* * *

On my seventeenth birthday, Renée told me we were going out to dinner. I stood in shocked silence as she flitted around my room, pulling out one of the party dresses hidden away in the back of my closet and chattering on about doing my hair and makeup, since we were going to a fancy place. I almost couldn't believe it – she hadn't done more than pick up a pre-made birthday cake at the grocery store since I was old enough to walk. And that didn't even happen every year, only when she managed to remember in time.

I didn't really have any close friends at school. Being rather shy and quiet, I mostly kept to myself, plus I didn't have any interest in getting involved with the typical teenage drama. I had responsibilities and goals, after all. So, I never got to have one of those awesome-sounding sleepover birthday parties, with colorful themed decorations and whatnot. I usually just cooked myself dinner – while my mother was out working or "networking", as she called it – sang myself a quiet "Happy Birthday", and opened my single poorly wrapped card and present.

That was the one constant on my birthday: a present from my father, Charlie. Even though he and my mom had divorced when I was a toddler, and I only ever saw him for a couple of weeks each summer, he never failed to send a card and a present the week before my birthday. The envelope would always be torn a little from where the card was forced in, and the wrapping job was less than stellar, but I knew that wasn't because he was careless. No, that just meant that he actually cared enough to do it himself, and I loved him all the more for it.

My dad and I weren't the most openly affectionate people, especially with each other because that just doubled the awkwardness, but I never doubted for a second that he loved me and missed me. The cards he picked out always brought a smile to my face, and even though the presents weren't extravagant – he was getting by on a police officer's salary – they always proved he noticed things, and paid attention to everything I told him. He'd send the next book in a series I had been reading, or a new set of notebooks in my favorite color when I complained I didn't have anything for the new school year. Something small, but with meaning.

My mother had gotten me a sparkly pink tube top when I turned ten, and a set of dolls when I turned fifteen. I guess you could say there was meaning in those presents, too.

This year, Charlie had sent me a plane ticket. The dates were blank, but the destination was clearly filled in: Forks, Washington, the tiny town where my father still lived in the house he had bought with my mother when they first found out about me. The simple note in the card read, "Missed you this summer, especially your cooking. Come visit your old man before he starves to death." I giggled.

I hadn't been able to visit this past summer because a police case had popped up in Seattle that needed my dad's help. Some serial killer went on a rampage, with bodies disappearing all over. He hadn't wanted me to be in Seattle with him near the danger, or to just sit around at home alone, so we decided to put off this year's trip. The case had been wrapped up by now – some crazy vampire cult – and it was nice to know that he was already thinking about me visiting again.

It was certainly more thought than my mother was putting in at the moment, as she just about poked my eye out with the mascara. I figured I should just suck it up since it seemed like she was actually doing something nice.

I had finally started getting excited as she ushered me out the door and into the car, but that quickly faded when the restaurant hostess led us to our table and a man stood up nervously to greet us. He was young – barely ten years older than me, if that – and his slightly wrinkled gray suit must have been from his post-college job-searching days. He was holding two red roses, and awkwardly handed one to me before kissing my mom on the cheek and giving her the other.

"Oooh, aren't you sweet?" my mother gushed. "Isabella, this is Phil. I'm so excited for you guys to finally meet!"

What did she mean, _finally_? I had never even heard the name Phil before.

"Hello, Isabella," he greeted me with a tentative smile. "Renée has told me so much about you."

"It's Bella," I replied somewhat petulantly. "And I wish I could say the same." I was trying not to take it out on the poor guy, as it was obviously not his fault that I had no clue who he was.

Both Phil and I turned our expectant faces towards my mother, who surprised me by taking Phil's hand as she sat down next to him.

"Bella, sweetie, there's something we wanted to tell you tonight," she started. "Phil just asked me to marry him, and of course I said yes! Isn't that wonderful? We were thinking we'd have the wedding in a couple months, no need to wait, right?"

I just gaped at them from across the table. They were both staring at me with hopeful expressions, waiting for … what, exactly? My approval? For my harebrained mother to marry some kid I'd never met?

It's not like she'd listen to my opinion on the matter, anyway.

I smiled tightly, willing the uneasiness away. "That's great, Mom."

She grinned brightly, turning back to Phil. "See! Okay, baby, so I was thinking we could…" And they were off in their own little world, forgetting about the apparent third wheel at the table.

I sat and watched them until it became so uncomfortable, I just couldn't stand it. "Mom, I'm not feeling well. I think I'd like to go home."

"Sure, go ahead, sweetie. Phil will take me," she dismissed me without even looking my way. No "what's wrong?" or "feel better". No offer to drive me home.

Not even a "Happy Birthday".

I stumbled out to the car and somehow managed to make it home in one piece. Since I hadn't stayed long enough for the food to come, I ended up on my bed with a carton of ice cream and a spoon. A few bites in, I noticed the taste was a little off.

"Too salty," I mumbled to myself. Looking down, I finally noticed my sight was blurred by the twin streaks of tears dripping down my cheeks.

"Shit."

I put down the ice cream and picked up the card from my dad again, wishing with all my might that I was with him instead. Looking over at his present on my desk, a sudden thought came to mind. Could I … _really_? Yes! Well, I was going to try, anyway.

I started planning that very night.

Ten weeks later, one day before Thanksgiving break and one day after my mom and Phil had a courthouse ceremony and left for their overseas honeymoon, I packed my bags and moved to Forks.

* * *

Although I had originally worried that my dad wouldn't easily agree to my coming to live with him, I was immediately reassured by his ecstatic response. Within a week of our first phone call, he had already made the arrangements for my flights and school transfer. Since I was a bit of a nerd and therefore ahead in my classes, it was set up so that I could take some extra credit to finish up my current semester early, before I moved, and then have a break until I started at my new school after the winter holidays.

Charlie also took on the challenge of convincing Renée that this move was in my best interests. He played off of her need for excitement and adventure by hinting that with me out of the house, she would be free to travel with Phil as much as they wanted. I was torn between feeling disappointed yet relieved that she didn't put up much of a fight.

My transition to Forks was relatively seamless. The cool, rainy weather was much kinder to my pale skin than the Phoenix sun had ever been. I still had my own room, although I had to share a bathroom with Charlie – which wasn't so bad since we were both low-maintenance.

The first night, my dad tried to make me a welcome-home dinner, claiming he had been practicing. Somehow he forgot to put water in the pasta pot and left the top on the jar of sauce that he had stuck in the microwave. Luckily, I came to check on him before anything caught on fire. We ended up ordering pizza that night, and both agreed that I should take over the cooking duties. I was perfectly happy to do it, now that I had someone else to cook for who would actually sit down to a meal with me.

Thanksgiving was pretty low-key: we kept it to just the two of us, since I had just finished moving in. Christmas, however, was a completely different story. As small as the town was, everything seemed to get hyped up for the holiday season. There was an elaborate tree right in the middle of downtown – you couldn't possibly miss it, seeing as "downtown" was only about three square blocks – and decorations, caroling, and various festivities ran rampant.

Based on the success of our Thanksgiving turkey (especially compared to previous years without me), Charlie decided that we'd have his best friend Billy Black and his son Jacob over for dinner. Billy was Chief of the local Native American reservation just up the road from Forks, and he and Charlie had been thick as thieves their whole lives. Although they still went fishing together every Saturday, I hadn't yet had a chance to meet him. Apparently, I had played with Jake as a child during some of my summers in Forks, but I couldn't really recall much. All that seemed to come to mind was the fact that we were about the same age, along with a blurry memory of long dark hair and jumping (or tripping, in my case) through tide pools on the beach.

When the doorbell rang early evening on Christmas Eve, I nervously smoothed down my skirt – one of only two that I owned – and went to answer the door. As it swung open, I was not at all prepared for the sight before me.

Tall, dark, and handsome was not an understatement.

The man in front of me – because there was no way he could be called a _boy_ – was turned back towards the driveway, so I was able to catch a quick glimpse of the long silky hair he had tied back in a ponytail before he was suddenly looking right at me. He must have been at least a foot taller than me, with strong, chiseled features and a toned body that did perfect justice to his beautifully tanned skin.

He grinned at me, and it felt as though the sun had decided to come back up for the night.

"Hi, you must be Bella! I'm Jacob. These are for you." He handed me a small bouquet of daisies. "I'm just gonna go grab my dad."

Jacob bounded down the steps and I watched as he helped his father into a wheelchair and rolled him up to the house. I stepped out of the way so they could maneuver inside. Billy introduced himself in the hallway, and I showed them both to the living room where Charlie was propped up with a beer and his eyes focused intently on the football game.

I slipped out into the kitchen to finish up dinner, and was surprised when Jake followed me. "Sorry, do you mind? I figured I'd leave the old guys to their gossip, and maybe we can get to know each other a little." He grinned again, and any possible hesitation I'd had – not that there was much – was completely blown away.

"Sure, Jacob." I smiled tentatively back at him.

Our conversation started out awkward, but quickly became easy and comfortable. He told me things about Forks in general, reminded me about some of the messes we'd managed to get into as children, and regaled me with crazy stories of our fathers' escapades. When they finally joined us in the kitchen for dinner, it was as if we'd been close friends our whole lives, laughing and joking together. I didn't miss the poorly hidden glances and smirks our dads kept shooting at us and each other. Obviously they thought something might happen between us, and I didn't actually want to argue with that. I already felt closer to Jacob than I'd ever felt with any other guy. It was the first time I'd actually thought about what it would be like to be in a relationship.

At the end of the evening, after he helped his dad back into the car, Jacob stood on the porch with me for a few minutes saying goodbye. He shuffled his feet a little before looking up at me somewhat nervously.

"Hey, um, Bella. Would you … ah, would you like to hang out sometime? I mean, can I take you out on a date?"

His words were rushed and stuttered, and if both the night and his skin weren't so dark I would have sworn he was blushing. I'm sure my cheeks were an even darker shade of red than usual.

I really liked Jacob, and I wanted to spend more time with him, so I agreed. "Um, sure. Yes, I would like that."

We both smiled stupidly at each other, then he quickly leaned in and pecked my cheek before rushing down the steps and into the car. I waved a little as he backed down the driveway, then held my hand over the spot he'd kissed, staring out into the dark.

I jumped when my father's voice came out of nowhere. "So … you and Jake, huh Bells?"

I laughed nervously, wondering what my dad might think about me going on a date, and with his best friend's son. "Yeah, is that ok?"

He smirked at me. "Just make sure he keeps his paws to himself until you're married."

My blush increased a hundred fold. Sure, I wanted children someday and knew enough about what had to happen in order to have them, but I guess I never really thought about it in that context.

After that night, I saw Jacob almost every day until school started up, and then at least a few times a week after that. He introduced me to his friends on the reservation – the stoic Sam, hot-tempered Paul, sweet and silly Quil and Embry – and I quickly became a tag-on to their little group. I spent so much time with them that I never really got close to anyone at my own high school. I was somewhat of a novelty for the first couple weeks, being the new girl in town, but that seemed to quickly wear off once people noticed I pretty much kept to myself. I found it much easier to be around Jake's good-natured group than the slightly more judgmental people of Forks.

Jacob and I continued to date through the spring semester, and then through summer and the following year – our last year in high school. We had a sweet, secure relationship that slowly but surely developed into the kind of love that only best friends can share. We talked about all the important things: how we both wanted to stay in the area, our desire to start a family, our hopes and dreams. Jacob was next in line for Chief after Billy, so it was crucial that he build solid roots in the area and have his own heir to the tribe, per say.

Christmas Eve of our senior year, we had another small dinner with just the four of us. It was there, on my father's porch, exactly one year after he'd asked me on our very first date, that Jacob proposed. I accepted with joy, tears in my eyes, and he picked me up and swung me around before planting a sweet kiss on my lips. We heard cheering from inside the house and both turned to find our fathers spying out the front window, giving us the thumbs-up.

It was the perfect end to the evening, and the perfect start to our life together.

Jacob had gotten a job working at the local auto shop – he was great with cars, and they got quite a lot of people who came from miles away looking for a place that loved their cars as much as the owners did. The manager recognized his talent and he was on the fast-track to becoming a partner in the business. That type of job would also leave time for him to stay involved in the tribe's affairs.

I didn't have anything I particularly wanted to do for a career, so I chose to put off college for at least a few years. We wouldn't be rich, but we had enough to support us. For now, I wanted to get settled in and start our family, and then maybe I'd consider going back to school.

We married the summer after graduation – a simple ceremony out on the beach – and immediately got started with the fun stuff: trying to make a baby.

* * *

We tried.

We tried for almost three years.

Our first time making love was awkward and fumbling, about as good as could be expected from two virgins on their wedding night. After a fair amount of practice, we managed to find a rhythm that suited both of us. We weren't too adventurous, but we kept up an active sex life, hoping we would soon see the – literal – fruit of our labor.

Jake was kept fairly busy at the auto shop. With nothing much to fill my days besides taking care of the house, I would often spend time with Billy or do a little part-time work helping out Sam's fiancée Emily at the local bookstore. Life was simple and carefree, and nothing much happened out of the ordinary.

That was the problem, though: _nothing_ happened.

After one year without getting pregnant, we weren't too worried. It was not all that abnormal for it to take this long to conceive. We laughed it off, saying it just gave us more time to practice.

Near the end of the second year, frustration started to build. We had done an increasing amount of online research into methods for fertility testing and tracking, and tried each and every one with absolutely zero results. My period had always been irregular, which made it even more difficult. We were often short with each other, though we quickly made up. Jacob had been promoted at work, but I was becoming increasingly bored just staying at home, and the gap widening between us just kept adding to the pressure on our relationship.

As the third year passed, we had nearly reached our limits. Lovemaking was no longer pleasant; it had become a routine, practically a scheduled business transaction. Jacob spent long hours at work, and in return, I spent more time out of the house with friends, hoping to distract myself. That just served to set off Jake's jealousy, although we both knew it was unfounded. We fought more and more, though he never grew violent, and I always forgave him.

Our breaking point came when Sam announced at a group dinner that he and Emily, who had gotten married less than a year before, were expecting their first child. I put on a fake smile in front of our friends, but as soon as I got home, I collapsed on the bed in tears. I must have cried for nearly a week straight. When I was finally coherent enough to have a full conversation, Jacob and I agreed – after having thrown the idea back and forth many times in the past – that we would go see a doctor. It was serious enough that I was able to convince Jake we should go to the big hospital in the city instead of relying on the local doctors on the reservation. Yes, I knew them and trusted their opinion, but it would be much more reassuring to have all the resources we could.

We sat nervously in the waiting room, holding hands tightly, until our names were called. We first met with Doctor Hale in her office, where she went over all the paperwork and the explanation for the procedures we would be doing. With several deep breaths and one parting kiss, we were led into separate rooms to be examined. After comparing notes later, I can honestly say that I got the short end of the stick. I had been poked and prodded so much that I felt the phantom jabs continue throughout the rest of the evening.

Jake held me close that night, spooning his large warm body behind mine, his hands resting on my flat stomach. We whispered softly to each other; nothing too deep, as neither of us wanted to get into what would happen once we heard the results. I drifted off to sleep feeling more loved – and yet at the same time, more frightened – than I could ever remember.

When we finally got the call to come in to discuss our results, I was a nervous wreck.

And with just one look at our doctor's face when she walked into the room, I knew it wasn't going to be good.

She sat down across from us with a sigh. "Okay, guys, I know you don't want to drag this out so I'm just going to give you what I know. Jacob," there was a brief tightening of his fingers around mine, "Your results look pretty good. Normal, although a little on the low side. Nothing to worry about."

I felt rather than saw Jake relax with relief. My eyes were still trained on the doctor, however, who was basically holding my future in that thick folder in front of her on the desk.

"Bella… I'm sorry. Your tests did not look very promising. We're not sure exactly what the cause is, but we can look into it some more, do additional tests. They would be more on the invasive side, and I know you wanted to avoid that, but-"

Jacob must have felt my tension increase and he quickly cut her off. "Doctor Hale, please just tell us. Can Bells … can she have kids?" He whispered the last part.

There was a long pause, too long. The tears started even before she started speaking.

"No, I'm sorry, the likelihood is extremely low. Of course we can discuss other options, treatments, medical assistance…"

I had stopped listening at "no". That was it. That was the end of my life's dream, the one and only thing I had ever truly wanted.

The doctor kept speaking with Jake about where we could go from here, but I was completely numb. I sat there, as still as a stone, tears streaming down my face. I didn't make a single sound, even when Jacob finally decided it was time to take me home. He had to pick me up and carry me out to the car, carefully maneuvering me into the seat and gently fastening me in. He lingered a moment on my side of the car, gave me a soft kiss on the forehead, and then shut me in for the drive back.

I woke up the next afternoon alone in our bed. I groaned, needing to stretch after being immobile for so long, and instantly felt someone move to sit beside me. I opened my eyes to find my dad, his own eyes glazed over with moisture as he reached out to hold my hand.

I didn't even want to contemplate why it was Charlie and not Jacob who was with me. I gave in to my misery and let myself be comforted by the strong arms of my father.

* * *

Without the future of a family, my marriage quickly started to crumble. It was the basis for everything we had done, everything we had been up until now, and we just didn't know how to act around each other with that essential piece missing. Jake and I barely spoke at first, and even after a couple of weeks when we started spending more time with each other, we hardly ever touched. Too-brief kisses and holding hands were about as much as we could manage; there were no comforting embraces or gentle brushing of skin.

In my heart I knew that he didn't blame me for my infertility, but _I_ did, and it was somehow always there in the back of my mind. The doctor had mentioned that there were other options available, complicated medical treatments or adoption, but none of those really seemed right for us. We were still friends – as we had always managed to be – but it felt to me as though we could never go back to being lovers. The strain of the last three years couldn't just be smoothed over, even if we miraculously ended up with a successful pregnancy. And just before my twenty-second birthday, Jacob seemed to have decided the same, and we mutually agreed to throw in the towel. We had had a secure, safe relationship, but there was little to no passion left (if there ever really had been), and it just wasn't enough to keep us together.

It was an amicable parting – no crazy lawyers, no signed and sealed settlement – but somehow I just knew that we would probably never see each other again.

I couldn't handle staying in Forks after … everything. Charlie tried to get me to live with him, at least for a little while, but I needed to get away from all of the painful memories. It was too fresh in my mind, too real to stay in that small town where everybody I passed on the street just _knew_. It was even more difficult because all of my friends were Jake's friends; since we had started dating even before I began going to school in Forks, I hadn't really taken the time to get to know the kids at my school, and mostly just hung around with Jacob on the reservation.

I wanted a fresh start – though I did want to stay close to my dad, too – so I ended up moving to Seattle.

Charlie took time off from the station and helped me get settled into a small apartment. He was truly a godsend; I don't know how I would have survived without him there. I was a veritable mess – when I wasn't crying hysterically, I would completely zone out from the world around me, practically a zombie. For weeks at a time I would barely eat or sleep, and then suddenly I'd be gorging on chocolate and ice cream and spending most of my time unconscious, burrowed in bed.

At some point, maybe about four months in, I guess my dad just couldn't take it any more. He finally pulled the father card and forced me to go to therapy. I really didn't see what sitting around talking to strangers about my situation would do to help, but I caved and agreed to go, especially seeing how much stress this was putting on him.

It was quite strange how they set up the sessions – a small group of us would sit in a circle and just … _talk_, about anything and everything. Why we were there, if it was because of something we did or something done to us, how we were feeling, how we wanted to feel. Everyone there had a different story, and a different perspective to offer.

I didn't participate much at first, just seeing it as another place to zone out. But ever so slowly, I felt myself being lured back out of my shell. The one who had the most significant impact was a petite girl about my age, who I was starting to see as a true friend.

Alice was a self-proclaimed shopaholic, whose parents had eventually figured out that sending her to therapy was actually cheaper than funding her clothes addiction. She was always dressed quite fashionably, and had a lot to say about my standard uniform of comfy yoga pants, hoodies and sneakers. Luckily, so far I had been able to avoid going shopping with her, although she tried every time she saw me.

Alice was always full of energy and would bounce in her seat whenever she got excited about something – which was pretty much all the time. I usually just gave her a small indulgent smile, but one day, she was just so hyper and crazy that I actually laughed out loud at her antics. I'm not sure which one of us was more stunned to hear me laugh, as even I couldn't really remember the last time it had happened. Probably before that fateful doctor's visit.

"Oh, my god!" Alice's eyes grew wide as she flew at me, wrapping her tiny arms around me in an amazingly tight hug. "You laughed. You laughed! Bella, I love it! Do it again!"

Perhaps in response to her ridiculous encouragement, I suddenly found that I couldn't _stop_ laughing. At all. My giggles set Alice off as well, and eventually we found ourselves collapsed on the floor, both breathing heavily and trying to stop smiling stupidly at each other.

I reached out and grabbed her hand, squeezing tightly for a second. "Thanks, Alice. I think I really needed that."

She cocked one perfectly trimmed eyebrow at me. "No shit."

We had to struggle to contain ourselves again, the corners of our mouths twitching in protest. Alice stood up first and helped pull me up with her.

"Bella, will you _pleeease_ go shopping with me tomorrow?" she begged. She even threw in the puppy dog eyes and fake pout, which I would have bet was effective enough to charm candy from a child.

I sighed dramatically. "Fine, but just this once, and there will be rules!"

"I can live with that. Rules are meant to be broken, don't you know?" And with that she skipped away.

That night, I cooked myself a full healthy dinner, and avoided over-indulging on sugar. I called my dad and told him I loved him, and that I was sorry. He just laughed and accepted, and said he should probably also apologize for the day he had sprayed me with the cold outdoor water hose in the hope that it might wake me from my zombie state.

I went to bed feeling the most optimistic I could remember being in a very long time. I vowed that the next morning, I would make plans to get back out into the world, on my own two feet.

* * *

Since any thoughts of furthering my education had been immediately put on hold when Jacob proposed, I decided to go back to school. I had always loved studying, and I figured even if I did not have the ability to build my own happy family, I could at least help others who needed it. By now it was close to the middle of the spring semester, so I lucked out in having just enough time to enroll for the following fall at UW. I applied for several scholarships and was pleasantly surprised to receive a decent amount of financial aid, just enough to offset what my dad told me he had secretly saved for me, "for a rainy day".

The summer was spent easing my way back into general society. I went shopping with Alice one time, which soon morphed into once or twice a week. I found it extremely amusing watching her interaction with others in the store, and when we discovered that my presence helped curb her spending (just a little), it became a tradition of sorts. I tried fishing with my father as well, and that also became a regular habit. We both enjoyed sitting in relative silence, just enjoying each other's company along with the pleasant seasonal weather.

When school started up, I began with the basic liberal arts track but quickly decided to go straight to a major in social work. I breezed through my bachelor's degree – with nothing more pressing on my time other than frequent visits with my father and Alice, I was able to take extra classes and finished up a semester early, moving straight into the master's work.

I enjoyed the subject matter in general, and I knew one day it would be extremely rewarding when I was able to see the smiles of the children I'd hopefully be able to help. However, some days, the specific topics we delved into hit very close to home. The week we discussed divorce, I found myself cooking dinner for my dad every night, just hanging out with him while he watched whatever game was on TV. He didn't say anything, but I could tell he knew something was up when he went to grab himself another beer and brought me back a mug of warm milk with vanilla. It was something he'd made for me when I was growing up, on nights I couldn't seem to get to sleep.

I thanked him softly and sipped my drink, feeling it warm up my insides in more ways than one.

Just this past week, one of my professors had brought up the subject of adoption. That was one topic I had thought about on and off for quite a while now. Although my personal dream had been to raise my own kids, I wondered if I could feel the same way about a child that I didn't give birth to. God knows there were so many children out there in need of a loving home that they just couldn't get, for some reason or another, with their blood relatives, but I just didn't know if I had it in me.

It was one thing to be married and choose to adopt when we couldn't have our own children, but I had no interest in finding a man at this point. How could I bring myself to start up a relationship where, if we got to the point of thinking of having a future together, I'd have to tell him that I couldn't have children? What man would want me then? I certainly didn't want to be with the type of person who would be relieved to hear that story.

And adopting on my own? Though I still dreamed of having kids, I had never pictured raising them in a single-parent household. I had no doubt that I could handle it – especially now that I was getting back on my own feet, studying to one day get a decent job to support myself – and I knew I'd never make the same mistakes Renée had. They'd also have Charlie as a doting granddad. However, I really wanted them to have a _father_, someone who was as invested as I was. I never wanted them to feel like they were missing something, or to have to deal with other kids teasing them because of their unusual background.

I wanted a home. A complete, happy home.

For now, though, I waited. I didn't make any decisions regarding the future, in terms of my personal life. I was just starting to get over things with Jacob, as well as my own demons, and I didn't want to set myself up for disappointment by jumping in to everything too quickly.

This also meant that I had not been with a man in years. I wasn't looking for a quick fling, and Jake had never been that great of a lover anyways (based on the magazines I could indulge in now that I was a single woman living alone), but I didn't have much reference to know what I was missing out on.

I thought to myself, however, that if something or someone wonderful came along, I would make sure to grab on and never let go.

* * *

It was at the end of a two-week lecture series on child abuse that I found myself at the local bar. I rarely came here, especially not alone, but tonight I really needed a drink to get my mind off of the horror stories we'd been discussing in class. I knew that Renée's method of parenting had left much to be desired, and could in some ways be considered a form of emotional abuse – although generally unintentional – but to hear about the things some children went through, and at the hands of their own parents…

Maybe it was just a coincidence that this coming weekend would be my twenty-seventh birthday, but it still brought back a whole slew of painful memories of the night that had changed the path of my life exactly ten years ago. Not to mention the reason behind my split with Jacob just three years prior. Jeez, good luck did _not_ come to me on my birthday.

I shuddered as I sipped my glass of wine. It was time to clear my head and just relax.

I closed my eyes and hummed along with the song playing over the speakers. It was one of my favorites currently on the radio, a modern-day ode to exciting, passionate love. Something I had not had much of in my life, but still yearned to feel someday. I was surprised when I heard the person sitting next to me start singing along softly, harmonizing seamlessly between the stereo and my mostly-in-tune humming. I determined it had to be a man, based on the rich, deep tone of his voice.

As the last few notes trailed off and the music transitioned into the next overplayed Top 40 beat, I slowly opened my eyes and turned to get a look at my neighbor.

Staring back at me were the most brilliant green eyes I had ever seen. With just one glance they captivated me, pulling me into their depths.

The man sitting beside me was the most gorgeous creature I had ever laid eyes on. I remembered being immediately attracted to Jacob's finely cut form, but I was blown away by the beauty of this stranger. He wore a well-fitted white button-down that managed to show off the planes of his chest, with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows, tucked into dark jeans stretched over incredibly long legs. Topping off his model-esque features was a full head of wild sex hair in an unusual reddish-brown shade.

His full pink lips were quirked up in a soft smile, and I couldn't stop my own from forming in response.

"You have a beautiful voice," I felt the need to point out.

"Thank you," he replied, surprising me when a light blush quickly spread over his cheeks. "Your, um, humming is quite lovely as well." I snorted, causing him to chuckle. "Sorry, that was a little too much, wasn't it?"

"Not at all." I held out my hand, surprising myself with my own forwardness. "I'm Bella."

He grasped my hand in his and instead of shaking it, slowly brought his lips down and placed a soft kiss to my knuckles, keeping eye contact the entire time. I felt a small shiver run down my spine.

"Edward." He nodded to my empty wine glass. "Would you like another?"

I thought for a moment, eyeing his mostly-empty beer. "If you are."

He signaled the bartender, and we waited in a comfortable silence – as silent as a bar can be – while our drinks were prepared. I couldn't help sneaking glances over at Edward, watching the way his eyebrows furrowed as though he were deep in thought, and the way his long fingers tapped on the counter. The nervous tension must have gotten to me, because as soon as my refill was placed in front of me, I grabbed for the glass and started sucking down a few huge swallows.

"Whoa, slow down a little." Edward placed his hand on my forearm when I finally put my glass down. I felt my face flush in a combination of embarrassment and alcohol, and he smirked. "Rough day, huh?"

Although that hadn't been the reason for my guzzling, I sobered when I remembered why I was here in the first place. "You could say that." Not wanting to go into detail, I settled with telling him, "I just got hit with some unpleasant memories today, and needed to unwind a bit."

He nodded lightly, not pressing for more, for which I was grateful. "I get that."

I belatedly noticed that Edward's hand was still on my arm, and couldn't help staring. I hadn't been touched so casually by any man other than Jacob or my father, and while it was somewhat disconcerting, it also felt … comfortable. Like a deep, calm feeling was spreading through my body from our point of contact. He noticed the direction of my gaze and quickly pulled his hand away, smiling sheepishly.

I almost yelled at him to put it back, missing his warmth and the tingling, almost electrifying sensation that came along with it, but I stopped myself just in time. What the hell was I thinking? One guy starts paying a little attention to me and suddenly I get all worked up? And in public, no less.

I looked over and saw that Edward was surreptitiously fiddling around with a napkin in his lap. Somehow, knowing he was also nervous actually made me feel more relaxed. I decided right then and there, I wanted to get to know him better. I wanted to learn things about him and find out what exactly it was that had me so intrigued.

Not wanting the silence to eat away at us again, I brought up the subject of the song we had just been listening to. Edward sighed a little, relaxing his shoulders and shooting me a relieved smile, before jumping in with his opinion.

There were no more pauses in our conversation after that.

It was incredible how, after those first couple of bumps, the night moved on so smoothly. We kept up a steady dialogue, which morphed into a sort of twenty questions exchange. The topics were easy and light to start, such as our favorite color (somehow mine had changed to green, after having been blue for as long as I could remember) or our job (he was a doctor). Neither of us pushed for extra details unless they were given freely.

Slowly, as we began to open up with each other, we started sharing more personal information. I told him a little about my parents, and what it was like living with each of them. Edward confided that he had caught his last girlfriend cheating, and had not pursued a relationship since. I may have done a little mental fist-pump at hearing that.

Over the course of our time together, I started getting a more complete picture of the type of man he was. Edward was very well-spoken, always thinking through his answers carefully before confidently offering – and stubbornly sticking to – his point of view. He was chivalrous, standing up when I went to use the restroom and sliding in my stool for me when I returned. He was extremely intelligent: his interpretation and insight of many of the books and movies we shared our thoughts on were quite impressive.

On top of all that, his intriguing ability to go from a nervous blush to a salacious smirk, complete with raised eyebrow, was enough to make my libido jump into overdrive. As the night progressed, I found our stools inched closer and closer together, ending up with our knees touching under the countertop. I wasn't dressed in anything particularly special for a night out, but the way his eyes occasionally drifted over my body told a different story. Sure, Jacob and I had been intimate as a married couple, but he had never looked at me with so much desire.

At one point, the sexual tension was at an all time high between us; I could practically see the electricity in the air. As more and more of our conversation seemed to be taken as innuendo, Edward's hand came to rest on my thigh with a light squeeze, and I couldn't take it any more.

"I think I'd like to get out of here." I moved my hand over his, a gesture to let him know I hoped he would go with me.

Edward needed no convincing, jumping up and throwing a couple of bills down to cover our drinks. He sweetly held out a hand to help me off my stool, and continued to hold it as we pushed through the crowd toward the door.

"Is this alright?" he leaned down to whisper in my ear. I nodded, rendered speechless by the sensation of his breath on my neck.

When we got outside, I started to veer towards the side of the lot where I had parked, but Edward pulled me back. I turned in confusion and saw he was shuffling his feet nervously on the sidewalk.

"I, uh-" he rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand, "I caught a cab here from the city. Do you…" he trailed off.

"I can give you a ride, if you want?" I offered. I definitely did not want our night to end just yet, and the fact that there was only one car between us was actually helpful in this case. At the very least, I had studied Edward enough to trust giving him a ride.

"That would be great." He smiled in relief and I caught sight of a small dimple I must have missed in the dim bar lighting. Oh my god, could this man be any more perfect? I almost swooned right there.

I led him to my car, and he politely held my door open as I got settled in. After he buckled himself into the passenger seat, he replaced his hand on my knee, causing me to jump. At my reaction he quickly went to remove his hand, but I grabbed it before he could retreat.

"It's ok, you just surprised me," I reassured him, wanting to stay in contact with him. He smiled and nodded, rubbing his thumb absentmindedly across my denim-covered thigh.

We didn't speak much as I navigated through the dark streets, Edward's low murmur occasionally breaking the silence to point out the next turn. His hand stayed on my leg, and the tension continued to rise. I squirmed in my seat, wishing I could tell him to move his hand higher. No! I was driving. Best to wait until we had the car parked…

Much too soon I pulled up in front of a two-story house in a quiet neighborhood. I shut off the car and we sat in silence for a moment before Edward turned to face me, reaching for my hands.

"I had a wonderful time talking with you tonight, Bella. I can't deny that I feel a strong connection to you and I would rather our night not be over quite yet. I hope this isn't too forward of me, but would you like to come in for a while?"

It surprised me that he didn't blush, but stared at me with earnest, hopeful eyes. I was grateful to hear he felt the same about our connection, and it was the easiest thing in the world to nod my head yes. Edward grinned and jumped out of the car, rushing around to my side to hold the door open for me. He led me up the porch stairs to the front door, but paused just after turning his key in the lock.

He turned to me with a slightly apprehensive yet sincere expression. "Bella, I just want you to know that I promise to be a perfect gentleman. I hope you are okay being alone in the house with me, but please tell me if you are at all uncomfortable."

I loved that he was so concerned for my wellbeing, but there were other, _stronger_ feelings coursing through me at the moment and I just couldn't hold back my suggestive reply. "Thank you for reassuring me, Edward, but I'm not sure I want you to be a gentleman right now. And, well, to be honest this bra is getting pretty uncomfortable."

With a wink, I moved to go into the house, making sure to brush against him as I passed. Before I could look around the entrance to his home, or even blink, Edward had me pressed up against the closed door, both hands on my hips and one of his knees pressed between mine, holding my legs apart.

He dipped his head in close, running his nose along my collarbone and up the side of my neck until he reached my ear. My entire body trembled as he whispered, "Are you sure, Bella?"

I sucked in a deep breath as I felt the tip of his tongue trace around my ear. My thoughts were scrambled and I couldn't manage to respond quickly enough.

"You've been driving me crazy all night and I would love nothing more than to leave the gentleman outside for the evening. Just say the word, and I'll be whatever you want me to be."

I could feel a hard bulge against my thigh, and despite the heightened emotions of the moment, I felt my eyes tear up a little. Not only did this amazing man want _me_, but he was also willing to do things at my pace, to make me feel at least somewhat in control. Perhaps this was the passion, the fiery desire I had been searching for, with just the right amount of sweetness.

Despite any reservations I had about what this night would bring, having only met Edward a few hours ago, I knew I needed to go through with this. I needed it, needed _him_, like I needed air and water to survive.

And so, I brought my hands up to cup his face, and whispered the only thing I knew I desperately wanted.

"Be mine."

* * *

We were a flurry of kisses, moans, wandering hands, and flying clothes. The first time Edward pressed his lips to mine, gentle and sweet, I sighed softly into his mouth. He moved slowly at first, drawing back for a few small pecks, before diving in again. He ran the tip of his tongue lightly along my bottom lip and I opened to him, enjoying the taste of him as we moved together. My hands flew to his hair, lightly tugging as I'd been dying to do all night, and he groaned.

When we both were out of breath, he moved his lips down the column of my neck, stopping to suck lightly at my pulse point. His hands rubbed up and down my sides, each time moving slightly higher until he reached the sides of my breasts. He passed lightly over my curves one time before dropping his hands to the hem of my sweater, looking at me for confirmation.

"_Please_," I groaned, enjoying the slow torture when he dragged the backs of his fingers along my body as he lifted my shirt over my head, dropping it to the floor.

His eyes raked over me hungrily, my chest heaving as I struggled to calm my breathing.

"I believe you said this was getting uncomfortable?" he whispered huskily as he reached out and quickly flicked open the front clasp of my bra. Both breasts spilled out and Edward drew in a sharp breath before moving his hands up to brush the straps off my shoulders before cupping me in his large hands. He kneaded my flesh, not too hard but not too soft either, and I moaned embarrassingly loudly when he ran his thumbs over my hardened nipples.

My nipples had always been very sensitive, but Jacob had never wanted to spend much time on them, preferring to get to the actual act. I was extremely pleased when Edward stayed focused on my breasts for a few minutes, rubbing and tugging at different intensities to gauge what I liked. His ministrations were pushing me closer and closer to the edge, and when he leaned down and took one nipple in his mouth, I almost came.

I was sure any more would push me over. I moaned his name and Edward looked up – he must have noticed the state I was in, as he immediately increased the pressure of his movements. He lapped lightly at one pebbled nub, sucking gently, while continuing to manipulate the other with his fingers. Without warning he switched sides, running his fingernails over the breast his mouth had freed and biting down lightly on my other nipple, and I was done for. I screamed out as my body clenched in waves, holding tightly to Edward's shoulders as I tried to regain my balance.

He swept me up in his arms and carried me into the nearest room, laying me down gently on the couch and removing his own shirt before pressing his body over mine. I reveled in the feeling of our warm skin touching.

"You're so beautiful when you come," Edward smiled, running a hand along my cheek. I couldn't help leaning into his palm. When I looked up, his eyes had darkened again. "I'm going to make sure you do that many more times tonight."

I shivered at his words, but suddenly felt somewhat uneasy. I had never orgasmed more than once, and never during sex. Jacob usually tried to take care of me beforehand, but it didn't always happen. Despite Edward's ability to make me come already, I wasn't sure I could do it again, and somehow … I didn't want to disappoint him.

Edward noticed me over-thinking things and furrowed his brow. "What's wrong, baby?"

I smiled instinctively at the pet name, and tried to calm myself down. "Nothing, I just … don't know if I can do that again?" It came out as a question and I was sure I was bright red.

He relaxed and gave me an easy smile. "Just leave it up to me. I'll take care of you." For some reason, his statement felt more intimate than the current context.

We gazed unblinkingly at each other for a moment before his crooked grin was back, and he slid his hands down my body to the waistband of my jeans. He released the button and zipper and slowly peeled my jeans and panties down my legs, kissing each inch of newly exposed skin as it was revealed to him. When I was completely bare before him, he sat back on his heels and stared down at me, eyes hooded and intense.

"Beautiful…" he whispered, before lowering his mouth between my legs.

He took one long, slow lick and I shuddered at the extreme pleasure, moving my hands to his head to stop him. He looked up, confused.

"You don't … you don't have to d-do th-that," I stammered. "I don't, ah…"

His eyes grew dark as he regarded me. "Has no one ever done this for you before?"

"No…" I whispered. "He didn't really like it, and I guess I didn't either."

Edward shook his head slowly, the light scruff on his chin tickling my inner thigh. I giggled without meaning to, and he smiled up at me, fingers caressing the sensitive spot. "I guarantee you, Bella," he stated confidently, "If you didn't enjoy it then he wasn't doing it right."

He proceeded to show me exactly what he meant. He teased me with his tongue and fingers until I was crying out again, my entire body practically convulsing off the couch as my second orgasm ripped through me. Edward held me close until the tremors stopped and I could once again open my eyes.

He smirked at me, and I cut him off before he could say anything. "Feeling pretty _cocky_ there, mister?" As I spoke, I ran my hand across the extremely hard bulge in his jeans, causing him to groan.

I continued to stroke him until he stilled my hand, asking with his eyes if I was willing to move this to the bedroom. I let him lead me down a hallway until we came to a large open room with a king sized bed. I climbed on and leaned back against the pillows, watching as Edward stopped by the edge of the bed to pull off the rest of his clothes before moving to hover over me. I felt him against my leg and reached down to touch him, sliding my fingers lightly up and down his length. After a minute or so, Edward growled and flipped us over, pulling me on top of him.

"Stop teasing me, woman," he wined playfully, ticking my ribs lightly. My hips wiggled in response, causing my slick wetness to glide against him. He was rock-hard and smooth against me, and we both sucked in a sharp breath at the contact.

"Shit," Edward whisper-moaned, stilling my hips with his hands. I rested my own hands on top of his, and started shifting my hips, sliding up and down his length. When he started thrusting his hips to meet mine, I moved my hands on either side of his head to brace myself on the bed, leaning down just enough for my nipples to brush against his chest with our rocking motion. The friction was incredible, and he moved just enough to press against my clit with each pass. Our breathless pants filled the room.

At one point, he slid down so far that his tip rested against my entrance. We both paused, uncertain. Suddenly Edward's eyes widened almost comically and he leaned his head back, exhaling sharply. I wondered what was wrong when he spoke up, sounding sheepish.

"Ah, I just realized that I don't have … anything." His eyes shifted to look down at where we were connected, then back up to meet mine. "I'm clean, but…"

I had only ever been with Jacob, though we had never used a condom, so I had gotten myself tested after the divorce, just in case. "I am, too." I realized when he didn't start moving again that Edward was waiting for something else. A brief pang of sadness flashed through me before I tamped it down, not wanting to over think things and ruin this moment with him. I reached over to brush the hair out of his face, giving him what I hoped was a reassuring smile.

"There's nothing to worry about."

Edward smiled back before motioning for me to roll over. He crawled up my body, nudging my legs apart and settling himself between them. He reached down to line us up, and held my eyes captive as he started to slowly slide inside me. It was the most intense moment of my life: the tender way he stroked my hair as he waited for me to stretch to fit him, how we never lost eye contact, the feeling of being filled so completely.

When he was finally fully seated, he took a deep breath and paused before starting to shift his hips. Every slide out brought more delicious friction; every thrust in brought a new wave of pleasure. He was hard and hot and fit me perfectly. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced – I felt as though we were becoming one body, one soul, together.

It only took a few minutes before he had me back on the ledge, and I could tell he was close as well. When Edward reached down between us to feel where we were joined, and began rubbing circles around my clit with his thumb, I fell right over, moaning his name as I shattered around him. My body was hypersensitive from my previous two orgasms, drawing this one out longer than ever before. My walls continued to clench around him and pulled him over with me, and he pulsed inside of me, shooting warm streams deep into my core.

He collapsed on top of me and then rolled us over onto our sides, still holding me to him tightly. After our breathing had returned close to normal, Edward left the bed to move into what I assumed was the adjoined bathroom, returning quickly with a warm, wet towel. He gently cleaned me up, and I had never felt so cared for. We each used the bathroom and then tumbled back into the bed with him spooned behind me. I was deliciously exhausted and barely felt a brief kiss on my temple before I dozed off.

I woke up suddenly, momentarily disoriented and wondering where I was. Soft light was streaming through the partially closed unfamiliar curtains; it must have been shortly after dawn. When I finally realized where I was, I turned my head slightly to look at the sleeping man beside me. His hair was disheveled from our activities and from sleep, and one hand was still attached to my hip.

As I gazed at him, my mind starting imagining what this life could be like. Waking up beside Edward, him leaning in to kiss me with a crooked grin, neither of us wanting to get out of bed, our hands roaming freely; then we were suddenly interrupted by a pair of soft giggles as a boy with Edward's copper hair and a young mini-me came crashing into the room, jumping up beside us on the bed…

I gasped sharply and sat up abruptly, only pausing for a second to make sure I hadn't woken Edward. His hand had slipped off of me and he frowned in his sleep, grabbing at the sheets. After a few moments he stilled, and I gently touched his forehead, rubbing away the creased lines.

I carefully climbed out of bed, standing naked in the middle of the room without a care, still staring at Edward. In a perfect world I could easily imagine us dating, falling in love, building a family together … and yet, I knew that would never be a reality. We could never live that dream together; I could never give that to him. Although I had thought I was getting over it, the intensity of the pain felt stronger than usual, likely because of the connection I felt to Edward.

I slowly started moving around the room, collecting my belongings and getting redressed silently. I kissed his cheek softly and took one last look at his sleeping form before slipping out the bedroom door, following our trail of clothes out into the living room. As I pulled my sweater down over my head, I happened to catch a glimpse of a few photo frames on the wall, and leaned in to get a closer look. One had Edward with his arms around a beautiful middle-aged couple, who must have been his parents. Another was a candid shot of him laughing with two young men who had very similar features.

I remembered him telling me that he had two brothers, and the way he smiled fondly whenever mentioning something related to his family. Looking at their closeness in the pictures further strengthened my resolve. Edward was wonderful, amazing, perfect – all of those overused yet completely accurate adjectives wrapped up into one tall and sexy package. He was smart, sweet, and full of life, and he deserved more than I could give him. I knew he would be hurt when he realized what I had done, but I hoped (although my heart protested) that he would find someone else and move on.

I shut the front door quietly on my way out, slunk into the driver's seat of my car, and quickly drove home. As soon as I was behind the closed door, I sank to the floor and cried. I cried for myself, I cried for Edward – for I knew he would surely hate me when he woke up to find me gone – and I cried for the beautiful children in my fantasy that would never come to life. I cried for the love I had lost before I even knew what it was.

* * *

A couple of months later, I was still missing Edward like crazy. It was amazing how, after just one night, he had imprinted himself so strongly in my mind and in my heart. I would think about him constantly – that crooked smile; our comfortable conversations, balanced by the way he seemed to understand me without any words being spoken; the tenderness in his eyes as we joined together. Although I kept convincing myself that this was for the best, I couldn't stop wondering if it might have been the biggest mistake of my life to walk away from him that morning.

Although at the moment, I was thinking the biggest mistake had been eating that leftover Thai food a couple of days ago.

My stomach had been acting up, and I spent the last few mornings reaffirming my close relationship with the toilet. On the third day, after the worst had passed, I managed to clean myself up somewhat and make my way to the hospital, figuring it was either some serious food poisoning or the flu bug I'd heard was going around, and I should probably grab a prescription for some antibiotics.

At the very least, finding an excuse to blame the ever-increasing ache I was feeling on an illness was much better than any other option.

After the customary hour-long wait, I was finally ushered back to a private room. The nurse fluttered around, taking measurements and quizzing me on my recent health. I answered her questions on autopilot, already thinking forward to a nice long afternoon nap once this was all over. The only things I clearly registered were when she sent me off to do a urine test – it was important to be paying attention for that one – and when she drew a couple vials of blood – it was even more important _not_ to be paying attention then. I was told to change back into my street clothes while she went to find out the test results.

I nervously waited for what seemed like much too long before the nurse suddenly poked her head in the doorway. "Just a few more minutes and Doctor Cullen will be right with you, ma'am." She disappeared before I could say a word.

Now I was even more nervous. Why did I have to see a doctor? Was there really something wrong with me? It must be serious if I had to see someone other than my usual general practitioner. I knew his name was in my file, so they would have sent me to him if it was just a regular prescription. Oh, god, was I dying?

I was practically hyperventilating at this point, which only served to distract me from paying too close attention when a man in a long white coat slipped into the room with his nose buried in the folder held up in front of his face.

"Well, Ms. Swan, it looks like you're … _Bella_."

I could barely hear the almost reverent whisper of my name over my own frantic breathing, but it was enough to make me look up. Straight into those bright green eyes I had not been able to stop dreaming about since the very first time I saw them.

There he stood, as beautiful as ever. I belatedly recalled him telling me he was a doctor, though I'd had no idea he was at this hospital, or even what his specialty was. I made a mental note that the standard lab coat looked exceptionally spectacular on his long, lean frame.

A few minutes passed in silence, during which I greedily (and probably more blatantly than is usually acceptable in public) took in his body from head to toe, replaying the mental images I had saved of the bare flesh underneath his clothes. When my gaze finally traveled back up to his face, I gasped lightly when I noticed the dark purple smudges under his eyes and the way his stare was locked on my face.

He was looking at me as if he had seen a ghost.

"Edward…" I couldn't hold back his name escaping from my lips.

He opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came out. He glanced down briefly at the chart in his hand, and his eyes narrowed slightly. When he looked up at me again, something had definitely changed. His expression wasn't exactly cold, but it wasn't welcoming, either. There was a tightness around his eyes and his entire body was rigid.

"As I was saying when I came in … Ms. Swan," he began again in a detached, professional tone, "It looks like you're about eight weeks pregnant. Congratulations..."

His voice faded out into the background.

…

What?

…

Did he just say… But that's impossible.

…

I had always hoped ... and we tried for so long … but the doctors were so sure…

…

Oh. My. God.

I was definitely in shock. I looked blankly at Edward, trying to discern if he was telling me the truth. It would be exceptionally cruel of him to say something like that if it were not the case, and even after just knowing him for one night I thought I could say with fair confidence that he would never do such a thing. And yet, there was still a small seed of doubt that wondered if this could possibly be some sort of revenge for me walking out on him, since he apparently hadn't taken it as well as I'd hoped.

I stared straight into those deep green pools, noting somewhere in the back of my mind that they were filled with a longing expression that I knew all too well, having seen it in the mirror practically every single day of my life. I did not have the slightest clue what he could be so sad about, though.

His stiff nod brought all the confirmation I had been searching for.

All of a sudden, it truly began to sink in, and I promptly burst into tears.

I was a blubbering, dripping mess within seconds. Through blurry eyes I saw Edward jump slightly, momentarily stunned by my reaction. I couldn't really focus on anything around me, though, what with all the whirling thoughts running through my mind – namely: _How?_ and _Really? _and _Wow wow wow wow __**wow**__!_

And of course, the most important thing: _How am I going to tell Edward that this is __**his **__baby?_

That final thought was almost sobering enough to knock me back into full awareness. I had suddenly, amazingly, been given the gift that I had wanted my entire life. And yet, I didn't know if I would have anyone to share it with. There was not a single argument that could refute the fact that it was his, either, as he was the only person I'd been with since Jacob.

I could hear a stream of low murmuring, and it took a minute before I realized that it was coming from me.

"No… That's just not possible. How could it … he … no! I don't believe it. But … and then it's _his_. Fuck, I don't believe it. They said I couldn't … but now I did? Oh my god. Ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod! What should I say? What should I _do_? I didn't think this would… Oh shit, what if he … he doesn't want it? How could he want it? How could he want _me_? Oh no, no, no…"

"Ms. Swan… _Bella_, calm down, _please_. It's ok, it's ok."

My rambling was cut off by Edward's soothing voice in my ear and his hand on my arm, stroking softly up and down. I'm sure he meant to calm me down, but feeling him so close just sent my heart skyrocketing again, and he retreated immediately when he felt me tense at his touch. I gazed up at him with glassy eyes. His answering expression was still sad, but seemed to have softened some, probably due to pity over my major freakout.

"Calm down, ok? We'll … you'll work everything out, I'm sure. Is there…" he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, tugging a little at the ends of his hair, hesitating. "Is there someone I can call for you?"

Of course! I needed to call Charlie, and Alice, and… Wait. I snuck a glance at Edward again and really took in his posture and expression. His shoulders were hunched over just slightly, and he was staring at me with hurt and angry eyes. He almost sounded … could it be … he was _jealous_?

It was then I finally figured it out. He thought I should call the baby's father! Although Edward knew we had been together around that time, he had no way of knowing if it was his. My reaction couldn't have been good from his point of view, either: crying and denying the facts. So even if he thought it could be his, he must have also believed that I didn't want it.

Didn't want him… This was the same thing I had just been telling myself. And it was completely untrue.

I really needed to clear things up. Because hopefully, _hopefully _that hurt expression also meant that he could possibly want to be a part of this. With me. Together.

I took a deep calming breath and sat up a little straighter, rubbing my eyes furiously to clear the last of the tears. "Edward... No, there's no one to call."

"What do you-" he started to interrupt, looking furious, but I held up a hand.

"Just hear me out, please." I looked at him cautiously as he nodded. "Edward, it's – I'm just going to throw this out there – if I really am pregnant, then the baby is yours."

…

All I got was a totally blank expression. Apparently it was Edward's turn to be in shock.

It took a couple minutes before he suddenly came back to life, shaking his head and starting to pace across the room. "No, no, you're wrong. How could it be mine? You…" He whirled to face me. "You told me you were on the pill!"

My heart sank as I began to think he really didn't want this. But I still needed to put on a brave face and at least clear the air between us. "No, I said you had nothing to worry about. I've never been on birth control. I thought… I thought there was no need."

I continued on as he stared me down: "I was married for three years, just out of high school. Jacob and I had our whole life planned out: where we would live, what we would do, how big our family would be. We started trying for a baby immediately after the wedding, but it … it never happened." I had to look away for a moment, wiping away a few stray tears as I remembered the pain of that time. "The doctors said I couldn't get pregnant," I finished softly.

"I had never done anything like that before … being with you, I mean. I didn't plan on that, I just – you're so amazing, and smart, and sexy, and everything I thought I might have wanted in a man, and you were looking at _me_!I knew that I didn't have anything to offer you, but when you asked me to come in, I just … I just wanted to throw away the fear for one night. One amazing night. I'm … I'm so sorry, Edward. I won't ask anything of you, I swear. I can do this on my own. You don't have to worry about-"

I didn't realize I had been rambling again until I felt warm hands on my cheeks, gently turning my head until I was looking back into his beautiful eyes.

"_Breathe_, Bella," Edward whispered. "I'm sorry, but I just have to ask – is this why you left? You didn't want to … you didn't think you could talk to me about this? I would have listened, I would have understood."

"I know that now," I whispered back. "But as much as I wanted you, I didn't want to tie you to me, I guess? I couldn't bear the idea of getting close and then not being able to give you a family, if you wanted one. Do you … do you want one?" I asked, unable to hide the desperate hope in my voice.

"To be completely honest, there has only ever been one woman who I thought I'd want to build a family with." Edward gave me a soft, sad smile. "And I thought she was lost to me."

"So…" I didn't dare say it.

"I do, I want to try doing this with you, if you'll let me? You do want the baby, right?" He sounded so worried. "I mean, if you don't, then I understand, but I hope I can convince you to keep it until it's born, and then I can–"

Edward was the one rambling now, and I needed to put a quick stop to it so I lightly pressed two fingers over his soft, entirely-too-kissable lips. He caught his breath and waited.

"I want this too, Edward. More than you can ever imagine. And I would love to try to make it work with you, if-"

Suddenly his lips were on mine, and my hands were tangled in his hair, and he was practically lying on top of me over the hospital examination table, and I was trying really hard not to rip his clothes off. Our lips moved together as perfectly as the first time we had kissed. When we both ran out of air, Edward moved his head to the side and nuzzled his nose into my shoulder, wrapping his arms around me tightly and pulling me in close to his body.

I giggled at the tickling sensation from his scruff against my cheek. He looked up at me, eyes bright and happy for the first time since he'd walked in the room, wearing my favorite crooked grin.

"Sooo…" he drawled.

"Sooo…?" I mimicked.

Edward sighed over-dramatically and pulled out a pout that could rival Alice's. "I guess I need to call your dad, then, huh? Tell him I knocked you up? Oh shit, you said he was a police officer. I hope he doesn't shoot me…"

I snorted, then started laughing in earnest at the confused look on his face. "Don't worry about it. He'll probably give you a pat on the back and say, 'Good job, son'." I continued in a more serious tone. "My dad has been there for me throughout this whole thing, with Jacob and then … after. As long as you're planning on sticking around, he'll love you."

It was so tempting to add on, "Just like I do," but I decided to hold it in. For now.

Edward smiled tenderly back at me, cupping my cheek in his palm. "I'm not going anywhere." He kissed me on the nose and then untangled himself, jumping up. "Lay back, I want to show you something."

I did as told and reclined on the exam table, watching as he wheeled a cart over from the corner of the room. He flipped the switch on the machine and held up a rounded probe, squirting some sort of gel on it.

"Lift your shirt up just a bit. This will be a little cold."

He brought the end of the probe down to rest on my belly, and started slowly shifting it around. Suddenly a whooshing noise filled the room, and I gasped, tears once again springing to my eyes. Edward met my gaze and I saw the moisture gathering in his as well.

"That's the heartbeat!" I squealed excitedly.

Edward chuckled, nodding, and continued to move the probe around. We both watched the fuzzy picture on the screen, and I could barely make out a kidney-shaped blob, with tiny appendages that could have been arms and legs. I didn't even notice I was practically bawling until Edward came over to wipe my tears away. He leaned his forehead against mine and we both sighed happily.

"I never thought I would…" I couldn't even finish the sentence.

"I know."

"And you think we can…"

"Yes, Bella. I really do."

"Thank you, Edward." I leaned in to kiss him again, soft yet firm, hoping to adequately convey the depth of my feelings.

"I'll always be there for you," he reassured me, somehow knowing exactly what I needed to hear. He gently wiped the gel off my stomach and rested his hand there. "Both of you."

I knew it was much too early to feel movement, but I could have sworn my stomach fluttered at his words. Getting to have both Edward and my baby – _our_ baby! - in my life was truly a miracle, one I would make sure to never take for granted.

I wondered what other surprises – both good and bad, big and little – would be in store for the three of us.

* * *

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